The Most Important Question About Onion Rings

Are they rough, or smooth?

Whenever I ask this in public I get one of two responses. (Mrs. H-CC is both embarrassed and entertained when I do it. Actually, she probably feels that way most any time she is in public with me.)

Some people know exactly what I am talking about and immediately answer the question with confidence. I trust these people. We bond.

Others look at me with a confused, slightly annoyed expression.

That’s when I see an opportunity to educate.

Everything about an onion ring comes down to the characteristics of the batter. The majority of rings, at least that I’ve seen, have a smooth, greasy batter. They’re the kind you’d get at a state fair or something. The kind that come in a little red-and-white-checkered paper boat with wax paper in the bottom and hanging out on all sides. The kind that make you hear yourself getting fatter.

My kind of onion ring has a light, crunchy batter that looks basically dry to the eye, even if it leaves visible grease on your fingertips. Here is a good example. Note the color and roughness around the edges.

Next time you are considering onion rings as an appetizer or side, ask the server or the guy at the window, “Are they rough? Or are they smooth?” It’s the only thing you need to know.

Grits: Born, Loved and Hated in the USA

Had grits this morning and was reminded of my love for this controversial breakfast fare.

What are grits anyhow? I can hardly eat them without thinking of the hilarious scene from My Cousin Vinny.

The only thing that people seem to know about grits is that they are made from corn. I also know for a fact that they are far superior to their cousin hominy. Ever tried that stuff? Like corn on steroids, but then kind of mushy, depending I guess on how it's cooked. Gross.
 
According to Wikipedia, we can thank the Native Americans for grits. Who would have thought they did anything special with corn?

I wonder if when Columbus sailed the ocean blue he found two camps of Native Americans: Those who loved grits and those who hated them, because there is absolutely no middle ground in modern America. Everyone I know is zealous one way or the other. Some people who claim to not like them admit to never having tried them. I have given up on pushing grits to grit-haters for lack of success.

Being from the South, I grew up on standard grits, not the cheese-flavored varieties and other fancy travesties. I am a purist. Focus on getting the consistency right so they aren't too runny or too stiff. After that all you need is butter, salt and pepper.

Happy Day to Us

Mrs. H-CC and I celebrated two blissful years of marriage on July 18, 2011.

Because we vacation with family every June and July, we made an agreement to take a weekend anniversary getaway every September. I get the joy of planning the trip and surprising her. This year we are going to [censored]!

We’re always home on the actual day of our wedding, so we celebrate by going to our favorite restaurant – Stoney River steakhouse. When I sleep I don’t see sugarplums. This is what dances through my head:

 

Since my first Stoney River experience several years ago, I’ve told anyone who will listen – and many people who wouldn’t – that it is my absolute favorite restaurant of all time. I won’t argue that you can’t find a better steak somewhere else. I admit there are proprietary spots around the country that probably offer better food, unique atmospheres and all that jazz. But to me Stoney River provides the best end-to-end meal in Nashville, or anywhere else I’ve been.

The fried bread and homemade honey cinnamon butter starts it off. The steaks are amazing. The au gratin potatoes are exceptional. The fudge cake is the best dessert I’ve ever had in a restaurant.

It’s consistent. You know what you are going to get. They always meet or exceed expectations.

It’s not stuffy. The ambiance is upscale, but not pretentious like some comparable places where you’ll spend more than $100 on dinner for two. You feel like your money is going toward the food, not the atmosphere, and it’s worth every penny.

Of course the best part of the meal is looking across the table at my beautiful bride. I wouldn’t care if we had anniversary dinner at Denny’s, as long as I can see her smile.

Happy anniversary, Soulmate. I’m the luckiest man in the world.